Everyone goes through things. If life is sunshines and rainbows then it is also storms and pouring rains. When I went through the most challenging times it felt like the whole world had turned upside down and everything had completely changed – this meant that it was a time of major transformation in my life.

While every trauma definitely brings a lot of positive effects after it’s over, it definitely doesn’t seem so when we’re going thru the thick of it.

These are 6 things I learned thru experience which have helped me a lot and which I will definitely keep in mind when I do face a challenge again. I really hope these help you too!

• Do not go and tell the story to whoever you meet. It does not alleviate your trauma but makes you relive it. Your emotions are bursting to come out and hence your mind is subconsciously spilling the story every chance it gets so as to relieve itself but rather than alleviating your pain, this exercise makes you relive the whole scene. Again and again and again and now you’re the victim once more. This happened to me a lot in the initial months until a kind woman I met advised me to never share this trauma story again and that’s when I mentally chose a few people that I trusted exceptionally like my parents and my brother to tell them what I was going thru when I felt the emotions rising to my throat.

• Remove all the physical items from your surroundings that could remind you of that trauma – stop torturing yourself. Our mind loves problems and negativity because we’re wired for survival and this automatically makes us focus on things which are not good/ negative so as to protect ourselves but that gets counter productive many times. At first it was hellishly difficult to discard memories which I had created so lovingly but it had to be done so I kept all the items in one drawer and would pick out items to destroy each time I felt extreme pain rising in my chest. Each and every single time I would feel lighter and calmer. (this doesn’t go to say that you remove all signs of the existence of a loved one, but more for situations where you have been wronged somehow and it all ended bitterly)

• Keep yourself exceptionally busy. An empty mind is a devil’s workshop. Since the trauma is fresh the moment you sit empty your mind will flash all those images again to you. If the mind is not occupied in the present then it will either be in the past or the future but it will never be idle so channel all that frustration into a workout or a passion project you’ve been putting off – believe me IT FEELS GOOOOOOD!

• Include meditation and breathing practises in your daily routine. These are things which will help you to connect to your source, will Centre you and give you  strength to go on. Meditation has been my respite, my blissful escape each and every time I have questioned myself and why I am going thru all of this. It has made me stronger in more ways than one and the benefits have flowed into other areas of my life too – better mental health, better relationships and improved productivity and ideas.

• Cry it out. My mom always says – Cry and cry a lot if you must, but always at the feet of God and never in front of another person. Crying helps to release negativity and the emotions you’ve unknowingly stored in your body and might save you from future pain and disease you may go thru because of this incident. I’ve gone thru so many days of crying in the bathroom and the car – believe me you’re not weaker for it.

• Last but not the least, avoid being alone. If you’re an introvert like me I understand that your batteries are charged when you’re by yourself but until the time you have healed reduce the time that you spend alone doing nothing but thinking and over-thinking. Instead go and sit next to your family and laugh with them. 

Remember, this is only temporary and a one time price you’re paying to become the incredible and amazing human that you’re meant to be – surely makes it all worthwhile, huh?

After having been through very rough days myself I have strongly started believing –

The destruction which seems like the end of our very existence is merely the end of an era and a very fertile ground for the creation of something never imagined before using that very destruction as the raw material for its creation.

@footprintsofnamrata